Chapter 3: When Love Becomes Control: Recognizing Emotional And Spiritual Manipulation

 

Chapter 3 

When Love Becomes Control:

 Recognizing Emotional and Spiritual Manipulation

From the book: "Snatched from the Claws of a Narcissist" by Anuri Mabel

🟣 God Will Walk You Through

Not all abuse is physical. Discover how to recognize emotional and spiritual manipulation in relationships and how to break free with the help of God’s truth and mercy.

🟢Learn more on:

emotional manipulation in relationships, Christian response to toxic love, spiritual abuse signs, narcissistic control tactics, Bible verses for toxic relationships, signs of emotional abuse, God and abusive relationships

💔 Introduction: When “Love” Starts to Hurt

At first, it looked like love.

He wanted to know everything about you.
He texted constantly.
He told you how special you were—how “different from the rest.”
He quoted Scripture. He called it destiny.

But over time, that love started to feel more like control.

Suddenly, you couldn’t make decisions without his approval.
Your opinions didn’t matter anymore.
Your spiritual walk was “wrong” unless it was through his lens.
He used God’s Word to keep you small—and quiet.

“For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ.” — 2 Corinthians 11:13

This isn’t love.
This is manipulation, and it is not from God.

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🚩 The Hidden Red Flags of Emotional & Spiritual Manipulation

Narcissists don’t always shout.
They whisper just enough guilt to make you doubt your own voice.
They praise you publicly, but control you privately.

Here are signs you may be dealing with this:

• You feel anxious, even in his silence.

• You’re walking on eggshells—afraid to speak or act freely.

• You’re isolated from loved ones “for your own good.”

• You’re constantly apologizing, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.

• Scripture is used not to heal—but to shame and control.

“God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” — 1 Corinthians 14:33

🙏🏽 How the Enemy Twists Love Into Control

Narcissists are masters of disguise.
They weaponize charm and religion. They twist submission into suppression.

Here’s what they often say:

• “God says a woman must submit to her man.”

• “You’re not obeying God if you don’t listen to me.”

• “You need to pray more so you stop being rebellious.”

But here’s what God actually says:

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” — Ephesians 5:21
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…” — 1 John 4:18

True love doesn’t manipulate—it frees.

🧎🏽‍♀️ 3 Steps to Break Free from Manipulative Love

🔸 1. Acknowledge the Truth Without Shame

You are not stupid.
You are not weak.
You are a woman of mercy who got caught in a storm.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32

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🔸 2. Ask God to Restore Your Discernment

Emotional abuse clouds your ability to trust yourself.
Ask God to renew your mind and show you what’s real.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God…” — James 1:5

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🔸 3. Seek Support and Step Back

Talk to someone safe—a counselor, a pastor, or a trusted friend.
Create space. Let the fog lift.
Don’t stay because of guilt. Stay only where there's grace.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

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✨ The Truth About Love and Freedom

You were made to be loved—not controlled.
You were made to be heard—not silenced.
You were made for peace—not confusion.

If the relationship is causing emotional torment, spiritual confusion, and repeated guilt—it is not from God.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” — Galatians 5:1

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💌 A Final Word of Mercy

Dear sister,
You are not crazy.
You are not rebellious.
You are not broken beyond repair.

You are loved by God, and that love does not require manipulation or fear.

Let God guide you away from control and into true, merciful love—where peace, clarity, and healing begin.

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📩 Call to Action:

💖 Share this chapter with someone who’s confused between love and control.
💌 Subscribe for more chapters on healing, faith, and emotional restoration.
📘 Up next: Chapter 4 – “Bound by Mercy, Not Chains: The Difference Between Godly Compassion and Toxic Submission” (coming soon)

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